Failed Attempt

I have regretfully neglected blogging for several months now! Life just doesn't seem quite as exciting when you're stuck in classrooms and libraries day after day instead of traveling to your heart's content across Europe!! :) Nevertheless, I do at least owe those who still read this thing, what they call-- an update.

College life is.... going :) Much like last semester, I'm ready to just be done. Luckily, my practicums start next semester, so I'm hoping that by actually being OUT in the field, will help with my "I hate my classes" blues. I'm crossing my fingers :) Guitar is going GREAT!!! I love playing my new favorite instrument SO much!!! Eventually, the calluses DID become worth it!! I'm grateful for that!!

Other than school, my life consists of my Writing/Peer Tutoring job on campus, Lifeguarding/Swim Lessons Instructor, Church-callings, and somewhat of a social life.

I do feel like my life has come to a comfortable balance. I've found that as long as I continue to do what I know is right and strive to do better each day, and each week, that things naturally work out every day.

In a nutshell, I'm sure some of you have heard rumors and whispers about a guy names Ryan :-) Let me tell you, dating him has been one of the BEST experiences. On our first date to The Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra concert, we discovered that we have known each other not only since High School, but since MIDDLE SCHOOL!! Here's some background:

My family and I moved to O'Fallon, MO from St. Charles, MO the summer before my 7th grade year. By this time, and due to Francis Howell's ciriculum, I had been playing the flute since the 5th grade whereas in the Fort Zumwalt district, students did not start band until 6th grade. So, basically, I was ahead of my fellow classmates. No big deal. What Ryan and I discovered was that we had been in the same band class for 7th AND 8th grade and we both VAGUELY remember at least knowing each other. It was quite the funny realization!!!

Sophomore year of high school, Ryan and I had Spanish II together. Being the nice person that I am, I would "help" him with his homework and we got to know each other a bit. We "dated" for a total of 18 hrs.... yes. You read that correctly :) Only 18 hrs. Because I was so young at the time and had been taught my entire life that I could and should only date members of my faith, I freaked out and broke up with Ryan. There was nothing wrong with HIM, I just chose to follow the council I had been taught and chosen to follow-especially because I was getting close to the dating age. We remained friends throughout the year, but after Sophomore year, I didn't really see much of Ryan. I heard his name many times in regards to our baseball team (he was a star player and pitcher) and wrestling, he was always a thought in the back of my mind... one of those, "what-if's".

In September of 2009, I was hired by the Renaud Spirit Center as a lifeguard. I LOVE my job!!!! Ryan has worked at the RSC for almost 5 years now, and I would on occassion, see him guarding at the outdoor pool in the summer. But, for whatever reason, it just never clicked that now I would be WORKING with my old high school crush. Let me tell you... the first time I saw him at a customer service meeting we had to attend.... was rough. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED and mortified!! Here I was, sitting and listening and I happen to turn around to say something to a friend and there was Ryan... not only "there was Ryan" but... THERE WAS RYAN ALREADY LOOKING AT ME! My face went beat red in an instant and I quickly turned back around and quickly lived through memory lane.

That was... Octoberish I believe... from then on, we worked a couple of shifts together, saw each other here and there, but I honestly thought he didn't recognize me or that he would ever really "notice" me again. No big deal. I was having issues of my own at the time anyways.

There's a quote that I love that says, "Don't find love. Let love find you! That's why it's called falling in love, you don't force yourself to fall in love, you just FALL!"

Obviously, not to the extent of "falling in love" do I apply this to my situation, but I can and do apply it because Heavenly Father's timing means EVERYTHING. And it was ONLY when Heavenly Father knew that I was ready, did he put Ryan in my path. He started asking questions about the Church--at the right time, I invited him to the New Year's Dance--at the right time (even though he declined-he later regreted it), and I invited him to church--at the right time. It has TRULY been an incredible experience. I've always had missionary opportunities with friends and co-workers, however I've never had an experience where the person actually WANTED to come with me to church and WANTED to meet with the missionaries and WANTED to learn and WANTED to do what was right for me and really sit down to think about converting.... I've never had that experience. And I'll tell you what, even though I've grown up with the gospel, it is such a neat experience to re-learn the gospel through the eyes of an investigator and have the Missionaries teach in your home. It had been such a testimony builder for me, and for Ryan as well. He wants so desperately to do what is right and that courage and determination SHINES through him. He hasn't missed a Sunday meeting, things keep working out with school and snow where his Monday night class gets cancelled and he gets to come with me to FHE, and he's started going to Institute without me(I have class until 7:40) on Thursdays :) I love watching him grow and shine more and more every day!!! He is seriously my Best Friend.

So, in a nutshell? Yes. Ryan and I are together, and YES... I'm as happy and content as I've ever been with the leap of faith I took to let him be a part of my life and share with him what makes me SO happy. I love this gospel with all my heart and meeting Ryan again, and watching his transformation, has only made me love it more!!!