The Nelson Family

I miss the feelings of being cared for, looked after, worried over, the never ending list a broken heart leaves you with. Someday I'll look back and smile. Someday the memories will make me laugh. One day, I'll be able to look him in the eye and tell him thank you. But today is not that day. And tomorrow doesn't look so good either. It's so hard to keep putting on this facade and looking happy for everyone, when I'm hurting so deeply on the inside. I can't forget him. I can't see past him. I have never felt this way. Despite certain things coming to light about his character, I still wish that he was here. I still wish that I could pick up my phone and send him a random text telling him I was thinking about him. I still wish that I would get his response 2hours later telling me that he liked me and missed me. I miss feeling cared for and taken care of. I miss the joy. The utermost and deepest joy I have ever felt. What is wrong with me?!?!!!???!??